For those of you who have had the pleasure to attend the GMCKS Kriyashakti workshop (and for anyone who has read Rhonda Byrne’s ‘The Secret’, or Sonia Choquette’s ‘Your Heart’s Desire’ or any other books about the manifesting power of thoughts and actions), the concept of gratitude as an important part of the ‘manifesting mix’ will be familiar. I have always considered myself a pretty grateful person, I realise that I’m pretty darn lucky to have the life I have, I feel grateful for little things like a pretty mug of tea or a good book or a warm duvet on a cold winter’s night. Or a good friend, a lovely family and the fact that I have grandparents to talk to.
But despite this I had to realise, after a lot of wondering why my wishes weren’t coming true, that I might still be lacking in the gratitude department. While I’m good at being grateful for the things I have, physically, in my life (although I guess more can always be better :P), I seem to hold back when it comes to being grateful for the things I wish for – more money, a wonderful husband, a nice home, that top I saw in a shop the other day, that huge book with the beautiful pictures of Catholic art that costs a minor fortune. It’s like my worrying gets in the way of gratitude and halts the process.
How I came to realise this? Well, after a bit of frustration, the odd moan about how ‘nothing works’ and the final ‘right, Universe, what’s the hold up!’ I started thinking of the things that actually did work, the times I did get what I wanted. One thing, as small as it may sound now, was my shoes. Months ago I started thinking of getting new shoes, my old ones were starting to fall apart, and I knew exactly what I wanted but couldn’t find them anywhere. So I googled around a bit, trying to find the kind of trainers I had in mind, and finally I came up with a number of images that together made up what I wanted – white, thin soled, light trainer with the sort of 70s style red and blue stripes on the side.
I put these images in a word document, saved it, and more or less forgot about the thing. A couple of months later I was walking through shops, not looking for anything in particular, and I saw the shoes, exactly as I had imagined them. And they were on sale! At that moment I was very happy i hadn’t rushed it and bought a pair online for about five times the price I paid for these 😀 I believe the reason the shoes materialised was that, as I forgot about the show wish, I didn’t stop the materialisation with my worrying about it, but let the whole thing play out on its own.
The second part of my realisation came from good grades at university. I’ve never been a rubbish students, and got really good grades about half of the time, but I could never really figure out what I did differently in those assignments and exams where I got really good marks and those I did ok in. Well, at my uni we had an Arab Culture Day last spring, and they have away prayer beads, tasbih. I have since learned that they can be used to recite the 99 beautiful names of Allah, but the simple explanation given at the Culture Day was that you go through the beads and thank Allah with every bead. I immediately felt very happy with my prayer beads, and decided to try them out before an exam. The result was that I got the highest mark I have ever received in an exam at uni. So I tried it again for the next exam. Same result. I tried it for a friend’s exam. Same result. Seems I had finally found my way to gratitude! 😛
Now you may wonder, do I have everything in my life that I want, now that I found this magic way? No. Because since I realised this, I have been too scared of the magic in the beads failing me, that I haven’t really even used them for anything. But this will change now. I have now publicly written that I will give it a shot, so I guess I can’t run and hide anymore. Bring it on.