What is forgiveness?
How do we do that? How do we forgive, what does it feel like when we’ve forgiven someone?
Until recently, I had never experienced difficulty in forgiving someone. Yes, sometimes it took me a whole day to forgive them (yeah, I know…) but even then it was more of an automatic thing, not anything I had to ‘try’ to do, to actively work on. The more difficult thing was sorting out my hurt self-esteem after I got hurt 😛
I found myself repeatedly talking to people who said they simply cannot forgive someone for something done to them, either because they believed this person did not deserve forgiveness, or because they simply did not know how to! I always told them the forgiveness ‘ritual’ Master taught (from webcast by Master Stephen Co, can be found in THIS previous post). I usually also add ritual with asking for forgiveness, as hurting is very rarely just oneway…
I cold always mentally understand that forgiveness isn’t always that easy, but I had nothing much to tell people in way of helping as it was very natural to me. I always did wish I could understand more so I could help more.
Be careful what you wish for, it might come true…
Now I have a very intimate understanding of what it feels like to not know how to forgive. And it’s not nice, I tell ya! However much I know I have to forgive, however much I know I’m only hurting myself, and however much I decide to keep repeating the words until they feel true, I’m still struggling.
So far I can only say repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition repetition – it seems to be the only way forward. I always thought it would be easy, just repeat and repeat. I hadn’t thought of the negative emotions that get in the way, the ‘why should I forgive, they don’t deserve it’, and the very simple way the emotions just make us forget to do the forgiveness ritual, to find a ton of other more important things to do. It also often feels safer to not poke and prod at the issue because it feels like thinking of it only makes us angry and sad and hurt and feeling either like tearing the whole world apart to rip put the pain, or makes us feel like nothing at all, like we’re completely empty inside. With those feelings lurking it’s not wonder we hesitate to face the forgiveness. We’re still just human after all 🙂
Another thing I have noticed is that denying the feelings of hurt just makes it all worse. It’s ok to accept that what the other person did was hurtful and possibly very wrong. Then you are free to remind your emotional body that you do not know everything about that person, they are learning and evolving and make mistakes, remember they’re a soul with emotions too. ‘Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.’ Luke 23:34
A dear friend gave me a good tip too: if it’s too difficult to bless the person yourself, if that makes you angry and upset, just simply ask the higher beings to bless the person with love and a good life, and with emotional and spiritual maturity. That way you don’t have to feel happiness and forgiveness towards the person directly, and doing this will (I’m told) in time make it easier to forgive the person. Here goes 😀